Why?

I have been so inspired lately by olympians.

What is there drive?
How did they get it?
Do they ever want to quit?
How many times did they before they found their true reasons not to.
How many times did they almost give up?
And what made them not?

That then started a thought process about those who never won the medals. And how many of them accomplished huge feats in their lives just by getting to the games? The trials? Or even onto the track, bars, pool or whichever passion was theirs?

I've been doing a lot of research about running. I read that before you run you need to decide what your motivation is. What is your true desire? What do you want? and why?
Is it to lose weight? Yeah?.. then get outta here. That's not going to push you enough. You're going to give up. Look DEEPER. Why are you doing this?
WHY?

The seventh grade was the first time I realized that people ran for fun. Not just to exercise or to escape... but because they liked it.
I was flabbergasted!  WHY would someone DO that? Running hurts!
haha little did my 11 year old self know that an obsessive thought had just entered my life to stay for the next 11 years.  The level of disgust I had balanced the level of curiosity almost equally, but with disgust still winning.  Various attempts to run with a smile lead me to believe that it was just not in my lot. It was for the crazies. My asthma had also given the perfect excuse of half-hearted attempts.  But still.... my secret desire that I could be like them... someone who ran because they wanted to... didn't fade. If anything it became more prominent.
During my time in Brasil and these 3 short months that I've been home I have learned that I never had disgust. That word had become a cover for the so commonly used and more accurate: fear.

                   I was afraid to try!  Of pain. Of defeat.
            Of having it become official that I am not one of those people.
                             BUT WHAT THE HECK WAS I DOING?
                                   I had made myself one of those people.

But guess what? I AM NOT ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE.
I decide what I want. I do what I want. And I am done with being afraid.
Being not horrible, nor good movie... After Earth gave a lot of thought for this exact tangent.
"Danger is real, fear is a choice." This didn't make sense to me until I saw the movie and heard the rest which I cannot find ANYWHERE to correctly quote, but gave the idea that we cannot fear "what could possibly happen". We cannot fear what "may or may not happen in the future".

It's hard to do. We must train ourselves to think that way.
"Now if you are going to win any battle you have to do one thing. You have to make the mind run the body. Never let the body tell the mind what to do. The body will always give up. It is always tired in the morning, noon, and night. But the body is never tired if the mind is not tired."   - George S. Patton, Olympian ;)

 Life has some great perks. Why do we let fear take those from us!?
Good sense and safety are still applicable. But fear is hindering. And it's job is done here.

So here it is. On September 14th I am running a half marathon.
Why?
               Prove it to all the dirty looking haters.
                      Overcome asthma.                        
       Physical fitness.              Prove it to mySELF.
                   I never needed him for strength.
       To have something that is mine.

                                       Because I freaking WANT to!