Guess what guys!? Happy New Year!
Ahhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I've never been one for new year's resolutions. I've made poor attempts of thinking of what I could do better at, but never returning to the thought. This year is the first time I'm actually making an effort and even then I don't think I can credit my natural nature to make myself a better person. ..haha. It just so happens that my life couldn't have come to one of those "reorganize yourself" points at a better time.
Two more months and I'll have been home from my mission a whole year.
What?
Where has the time gone? Heidi, Lindsay and I were talking about how it felt on the final countdown to the new year. 10..9..8..anxiety...7...wait...6...stop..5..why do I feel like this!?...4...3..."lactose intolerant!!!!!"...2... 1... ohmygoshwhat'shappening!?. It's the story as old as time.... you can't stop time. Everyone feels it. Everyone has a problem with it at some point.
So what am I DOING with it?
What am I doing with this prized possession that everyone has and everyone wants more of.
Time moves no matter what. In 10 years I'll be 10 years older. That time will pass no matter what. So instead of waiting for things to happen, why not make something? Sure. Some things take time... such a complicated catch 22. "Just give it time". Who really needs the time but ourselves? To straighten up, to figure things out, to clear our heads.
We give too much time to what we think is supposed to be right, freeing, relieving, adventurous, daring, liberating, founding, insert whatever you can think of here.
I just saw The Secret Life of Walter Mitty. Exquisite. I absolutely loved it. And although I love TRAVEL and ADVENTURE I think what a lot of people took from that film is that what you need to have a fulfilling life is those exact things. But in the end of the film Walter Mitty was back at home with the girl from his office walking down a street he had walked down a thousand times before. Why was he content? Because he did what he always wanted to do. He conquered his fears. He found contentment in himself. He learned to love himself. He didn't abandon all that he was or did. He didn't forsake comfort of being grounded. He found a balance between responsibility and spontaneity.
We are capable of living happy, fulfilling lives.
There is pride in adventure just as much as there is pride in family and a job.
You know what? I hate McDonald's. But every once in a while I crave it like a pregnant woman craves sweet pork burritos covered in chocolate. One of my "resolutions" for the year is to eat more healthily. Yesterday was my... 'get ready.. tomorrow it starts' day. I saw 'Walter Mitty' alone to get all motivated up and on the way home knowing I was going to pick up some food, I saw a McDonald's. I thought to myself... I would kill for some people nuggets with barbeque sauce and some fries with sweet and sour. So I stopped. I took it back to my apartment and ate it by myself... in the car. And I was soooo happy. I did it because I wanted to. Some things we can do just because we want to. It's okay.
This year there will be less restrictions in my life on what I, or anyone else, thinks could or should happen.
Why does it even matter? Just keep going. Keep moving. Stop worrying about what could happen in the future. Only God knows and unless he says no, then run like the wind.
One big thing that I took from my mission is that God wants to protect us, not restrict us. So many times we're given an inch and we see it as a mile. We need to be careful, but that doesn't mean we need to give ourselves more rules than there actually are. It doesn't mean that because alcohol is inhibiting to our physical and spiritual growth that we can't drink Root Beer because it has the word 'beer' in it.
It's okay. We're here to live. So live.
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